end of pregnancy rant.

As I sit here writing on my couch waiting for this baby to arrive I can't help but think how funny life is. In my mind I always think I can perfectly plan most aspects of my life and then God shows me my need for Him and how trying to control every situation is not my place.

My boys have always been very routine and we do the same things in our home 90% of the time. But within the past three weeks Max, who normally is super easy-going for naps, has given me a run for my money.

Our normal routine is eat lunch at 11:30 AM and then quiet play until nap time around 12:15 pm. I  turn on the sound machine, close black out curtains, sing him a doxology and the Gloria Patri, shut the door and then he is out within 5 minutes. Ever since his cold a few weeks ago he has been crying when I put him down for a LONG time. So I started to rub his back (something I have never done) and he would go down within 10-15 min. Fast-forward to today when I am 40+ weeks pregnant and leaning over his crib is no longer possible. I also do not want to continue this habit because once baby arrives I will not have the time or energy to rub his back when I know very well he is tired and capable of going to sleep on his own.

The days where we have just let him cry or stay in his crib he has chosen not to nap. I leave him in there for at least an hour and if he has still not napped then I get him out and continue the day. It is hard to swallow little bumps in the road like this because I was not worried at all with baby coming because I knew we had nap times down and it would be a great break for me to just focus on Calvin and the new little one. I share this mostly as a vent but also to show that even moms like me who try to plan out all the tiny details do not have it all figure out. Something can be working great for a while and then a sickness or growth spurt happens and you are back at square one again. I am constantly needing to remind myself that all of these seasons are normal and okay.

Calvin this week also got his cough back and since he is an asthmatic it is not just a "cough". We have had way to many nights in the past where he is having asthma attacks and the whole family is affected. A lot of my OCD issues with being around sick kids is because of Calvin's weakened immune system. THANKFULLY  his awesome allergists has us on a great regiment now that has helped tremendously and also my Young Living Oils have played a big role in him not getting full blown sick. God has been gracious to us and thankfully I do not see this turning into something big but oh how I wish these little hiccups in my perfect plan would smooth over soon. 

Oh, and just as I finished writing this Max fell asleep on his own. Took 20 mins but he only cried for 8. Woot woot! My family is always being used to sanctify me and it is not always easy. This new baby will stretch me, test me, and will also show me how much love God has for His people. With every new chapter in motherhood I am learning more about myself and that is always a good thing. 


the long stretch.

Any mom who has given birth or has waited for their adoptive baby knows that the last few weeks can be the hardest and longest weeks. And for someone who is not gifted with patience the days seem to go by slowly as my body slows down in preparation for D-Day (delivery day).  Some concerns that stress me out right now is falling behind on laundry and then having baby and coming home to buckets of laundry to do or falling behind on cleaning the house. I am so particular about things and it makes me sad that I operate like this sometimes. Thankfully I hired a cleaning lady to help me with floors and bathrooms every week once the little guy arrives so that is one burden taken off my shoulders. 

I have been hearing WAY too many friends who have been having their babies in their bathrooms, parking lots, cars, hallways because labor went by so quickly. I will be delivering in our towns new hospital so Nick and I have a plan to just immediately go to the hospital right when I go into labor since my labor with Max went by extremely quicker than Calvin's. For me, the car drive is sometimes the worst part so the idea of getting to the hospital as quickly as possible and laboring there or walking the lobby sounds more appealing.

I am hoping to get a pedicure, go on a few more date nights, get a massage, see my chiropractor one more time, and also visit the beach within the next 3 weeks before the little guy arrives. I feel like a new mom all over again because every birth and child is so different and the unknown of it all gives me all the feels. At my last OB appointment my doctor asked me how my exercised-induced asthma was doing and I flat out laughed in her face because I have been the least active in my entire life for these past 9.5 months. Thankfully, Spring will be here soon (it is 71 degrees here in San Diego today) so as long as my groin muscle heals I can't wait to get out of the house and walk around more. To say I am out of shape is a complete understatement.

As for the blog I am not sure how active I will be once we have three kids to take care of. I am pretty active on social media so I plan to share a lot via those outlets but I plan to write a post about the delivery, life with 3 and postpartum care. As for all the old ladies at the grocery store telling me I look like I am "going to pop". You are right! I am very big and ready to go but unfortunately have no control over the situation. Our little man will be here on a day only the Lord knows and thankfully this time around I am 100% okay with that. 

I would love and appreciate prayer for 1. a smooth labor and delivery for me and baby boy, 2. Max and Calvin to have a good transition to our new addition 3. to not get postpartum depression again 3. to have patience and 4. to respect and love Nick when things get stressful once we are out-numbered.

If you need me you can find me on my couch ;)

Last Sea World trip before baby  

Last Sea World trip before baby  

We were in the soak zone

We were in the soak zone

I love when they all match!  

I love when they all match!  

Eating some junk food for the last time. 

Eating some junk food for the last time. 

ways I am preparing for our new baby.


I have about 6-7 weeks (or 44ish days)  before I give birth to our third son. Being the planner that I am I always have a constant running list of things I need to do before and after this new guy arrives. As much as I try to sit and just enjoy these last few weeks with just two boys it is not me to just push my self-made list aside. Every women is different but I wanted to share with all of you the ways I am preparing for our new baby. My hope is that by tackling some of these things will help alleviate any stress or problems in the future. I have learned how quickly life can change when you add new things onto your plate so each day I am trying to do little tasks to help accomplish all of these goals. 

Ways I am Preparing for our New Baby

  • Clean out all the drawers in all of our bedrooms of clothes we do not wear or need. 
  • Go through all of the boys toy bins to throw out broken toys, donate toys we do not use, and organize all of the tiny pieces of legos and parts we have.
  • Clean out our SUV of the loads of goldfish, sippy cups, and tissues that have accumulated over the year. 
  • Set up a house cleaner to come clean for two months after baby is born. I am thinking I will have her come every 2 weeks to do a big clean and then my mom and I will keep up with the everyday stuff.
  • Organize a drawer of postpartum care for myself. I am putting together a drawer of all of my nursing friendly tanks, comfy pants, and then a separate drawer full of bathroom needs (witch hazel, pads, spray, cream, etc.).
  • Make a list of our favorite take-out and restaurants that I can use Uber Eats for. Our neighborhood sadly does not get delivery for Amazon Fresh or any grocery delivery but I know Uber Eats will come here so on the days where lunch is far from my mind or I can't find anything for dinner I can easily give Nick a name of a place we like to eat and he can order food for us.
  • Make a drawer in the kitchen and in the fridge where I can prepare the boys easily accessible snacks and breakfasts choices.
  • Write up the boys schedule and contact a few friends for when I go into labor. My mom will watch Calvin and Max when I am giving birth and then will come to the hospital right after baby is born so I want to make sure that there is no confusion on what the boys need while I am away. I am also getting our spare car seats ready in case they need to go somewhere with my mom or a friend (think insurance info, doctors numbers, sleep routine, foods they like, etc.).
  • Pack hospital bags for Nick and myself. This is actually the tasks I am most excited about and will probably wait until I am 36 weeks to do. I have always loved getting everything ready for our hospital stay just because it puts everything into perspective for me.

This list might seem long but it honestly helps me so much to have a plan of action and it makes the time I have left to wait not seem so long. I know that it will take a lot of practice for me to learn to let some things go and to just relax once the baby comes but knowing I completed this list will help give me some peace of mind. I would love to hear what you do to prepare for your new baby.

PC: Courtney White 

PC: Courtney White