juggling 3 kids is HARD.

Juggling 3 kids is HARD, actually juggling any amount of kids is hard! This transition for me has been a bumpy one and I have seen more than ever my sinfulness and my weakness. 

Nick and I were talking the other day about how the beginning weeks with a newborn are hard on a marriage. Throughout our marriage, I would say Nick and I do well at communicating. We are both talkers and enjoy conversations about food, theology, and life in general. But the first 3 months with each of our kids have been difficult for us. We both are sleep deprived, irritable, and vulnerable. A normal 2-minute conversation can take over an hour with all the interruptions from our little offspring. On Memorial Day we went on our first walk alone since Calvin was born and it was such a breath of fresh air. We love our kids—don't get us wrong—but before them it was just US. Trying to remember that it was he and I before we became "the Davis Family" is something that takes conscious effort each day. (Side note: thank you to my best friend AW for reminding me of this. You're the best!)

It's hard being a mom and a wife because I want to give everything my 100% and can't. If I was to make a list in my head of what is important to me many things are on a equal playing field and I cannot realistically give everything my full attention. I am convinced that if I was getting a good nights sleep  I could conquer so much more. It takes a lot out of me to not get overly jealous of the moms who have kids who sleep more than 5+ stretches at night (see update below on a gift Leo gave me). Leo has had some good nights and some that were just plain awful. His reflux is the culprit in the middle of the night and he wakes because he is spitting up everywhere despite me keeping him upright for 20 min after a feeding and trying to not fall asleep at the same time.

Through it all God has been gracious to me. I used to rock Leo to sleep for every nap and Calvin and Max would be doing who knows what in the living room but thankfully Leo has learned to put himself down. Right now Leo is up for an hour at a time and then I put him in his room with the sound machine and place him on his tummy and he is out in under 5 minutes. He naps anywhere from 35 min-3.5 hours and I try to soak up every minute of it when he is sleeping since he still has some colic throughout the day.

At the same time I cannot believe how fast time is going. Leo is almost 12 weeks old and it feels like I was just giving birth to him yesterday. God knew I needed sleep because last night he slept 9.5 hours straight (I still have bags under my eyes) and is now still sleeping after a quick feed. It is only 8:15 AM and I already had a decent breakfast, drank my coffee, put the dishes away and am typing here on the blog which is far and few now a days. 

Juggling 3 kids is HARD, but this is what I signed up for. I wanted to be a mom my whole life and I've been blessed to have 3 healthy boys. So whether you have 1 kid or 5 kids, know that you are not alone. Being a mom will stretch you in ways you never thought possible but there will be a time when our homes are quiet and the kids are all grown up. We will be wishing for the days when noise was non-stop and our days were filled with chaos and laughter. God's grace is sufficent and in our weakness, He is strong.