i have baby fever.

I have baby fever, but not the kind that makes me want to have another baby right away. I have baby fever for my two boys when they were 7 lbs of sweetness. As I was putting Max to bed the other night, I took a few seconds to just smell his hair and hear his heartbeat and I fell in love all over again. Even though Max is still small (he is only 17 lbs and still in 6-12 month clothes) he is definitely not a baby anymore. I miss when he would let me nurse him and would be with me. He used to take naps in my Tula carrier and fall asleep on my chest. As much as I love watching him and Calvin become best friends, I miss the neediness that little babies have for mommy. 

When we are in the midst of the chaos of caring for a newborn baby it is so easy to forget how special that short time is. And for someone like me who tracks every feed, diaper change, and sleep cycle, I can easily forget to enjoy each moment and can often focus too much on the future. Each time I say good night to my boys now I know that they will change the next day. The look of their face, their personality, and their independence. They will never stop growing and changing. I desperately wish I could go back to the nights when they were little again. I love who these little boys are becoming but I will always wish for those precious moments back.

We always go back and forth about whether or not we are done having biological kids (adopting is still something we have a heart for). Having another baby would not make me not miss my boys being babies but we have not made any decision on that front yet. In the meantime, I hope and pray for many of my friends and family members to have tons of sweet babies. I want to smell, kiss, and love on all of them, thanking God for each new life.

Kiss your babies all day today because you will never get today back. Baby fever is something that never goes away (so I hear). So when things don't go my way and I get overwhelmed or when the boys are testing my patience, I hope I remember baby fever. They are only small for so long. 

Do you get baby fever? Does it ever go away? Have you ever had a moment where you realized your child was not a baby anymore?

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