I have been telling myself for a few years now that if I only had a few extra hours a day I would be a much better wife and mom. 24 hours is not enough time to complete all the tasks I give myself and the time to fulfill all my families needs. But when I take a step back to see how I do spend all my time I can see where my sinfulness and selfishness get in the way of being productive but also intentional with my day.
At any given time I have a running list in my head of ideas, lists, to-do's, tasks, and goals. I once heard that guys are like waffles and girls are like spaghetti. Women tend to make all areas of our lives to be on equal playing fields and equally urgent and guys are better at categorizing. While this might not be true for everyone it is true with Nick and I. My family definitely has needs that need to be addressed quickly and timely but they do not demand all of my day 24/7.
The extra hours I wish I had would be used to read, study, creativity, and community. Many days I feel so guilty because I am counting the hours until the boys go to bed so I can have "me" time. I don't think there is at the surface anything wrong with me wanting time alone to dapple in all these areas. But when these ideas consume my thoughts during the day I can see how it affects my mood with my kids. My dream for as long as I can remember was to be a mom and here I am with two healthy boys. I never want them to see me frustrated or anxious because I am not reading the blogs I want, or the book I have sitting on my night stand, or that recipe I have been dying to try out. They are my priority and my life right now is a season.
If I had extra hours in the day I would hope that I would first seek time with the Lord and more time with my family. I admit that for months my bible had sat on my coffee table. I had every intention of reading the Word when the kids napped but then would find myself watching TV, or going on Pinterest, or blogging. The funny thing is every time I used the time I do have to workout or be in God's Word I in turn would have a better day and appreciation for all I have. And the times spent wishing for things I did not have left me feeling ungrateful. I know there is nothing wrong with wanting some extra "Gina time" but my prayer is that I would be content with this season life knowing how fast it goes away. I am praying that each day I would learn how to better balance my many hates. Mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, and blogger.
Do you ever wish you had more alone time during the day? Do you have older kids and therefore have some more time to dapple into some of your hobbies? How do you balance your day?